Three months after I vacated my beloved one bedroom apartment and sold my car to return to Holland for the summer, I am back on Maui for the fourth time. What next?
Each time I return, it’s different.
The first time I came to visit my sister in Pukalani for three weeks in 1999. [Pukalani means a hole in the sky.] The second was to give a concert at Makawao Union Church. [Makawao means the edge of the forest.] The CD of that December 2007 concert has since been produced from my apartment in Wailuku this past January on my third visit. [Wailuku means water of destruction.] That 3rd visit was Phase 1: Getting here to find out how to return.
I consider my fourth arrival on this tropical island the second phase, i.e. how to stay here.
I try to wake up at dawn. Breakfast is easily made: a boiled egg, fresh cut pineapple, toasted bagel or bread with home-made jam, and an Italian Lavazzo espresso coffee with hot milk. I start my “Morning Pages,” writing in long hand, downloading whatever clutter is still on my mind. The point is to leave the clutter and chaos behind and come to a clean space to focus on how to stay here.
Thereafter, I open Julia Cameron’s book “The Vein of Gold,” a subject my writing teacher in Leiden (Netherlands) first introduced to me in 2008. When I saw the book among the many books on art and creativity in my 86-year old friend’s collection recently, I just had to borrow it. Hopefully reading and following the exercises will free me to express myself again.
How does one stay here? I got the job. Now I need a car.
Without a car, it’s nearly impossible to be spontaneous. I become dependent on others to get from A to B, or resort to looking in a small area in Kahului where I am temporarily based. Incidentally Kahului means “the winning.” For most Americans, getting a car is not a big deal. I’ve been wrestling with a huge resistance and hesitation to launch full force into getting a car. After spending months decluttering and getting rid of my possessions in the Netherlands, the last thing I want to do is to go on a spending spree and acquire a big air-polluting object on wheels.
The other resistance to owning a car comes from having lived in London and the Netherlands for many years where a car is not necessary.
But I do need another place to live. Do I need a car to find a home?